Does he care about me still?

3 years ago me and my ex broke up and I called his bestfriend that night and we had . I told my ex weeks later because I felt so guilty they both made it seem like it was my fault so I tried to OD. I almost died and his bestfriend told me he wish I had died. 2 years later I lost another ex boyfriend in a car accident. And I was amess I cried every night and prayed to just be happy. A month later my exs bestfriend apologized to me so what did I do? I forgave him because lifes too short and I've loved him for 5 years. so we were together for 3 months then he screwed me over again. I was amess!! So 3 months later I figured out I couldnt live without him and I tried to convince myself that I hated him. so its been 6 months now that weve been together and weve been fighting alot because he finally admitted he wants to be with me and he wants it to work this time. I got freaked out and without noticing I push him away because I'm scared of being hurt again. so he put up with it until monday he told me he doesnt want to talk to me for a little bit. and I'm beating myself up like its all my fault which it probably is. but what does that mean that he hates me or he just wants some space?